Hucklebug, Episode 147: Hucklebug Intro, RIP Sam Butera, Koko Taylor & David Carradine, shout-outs, movies (Stennie: Casablanca, Bet: Odd Man Out, That Thing You Do, Grindhouse, 2001: A Space Odyssey), lowlights & highlights, fuck-offs & you-rules, Five Things We Would (Each) Like to Learn.
Music: “The Hucklebuck,” performed by (respectively): Chubby Checker, Floyd Cramer, John Spencer, Frank Sinatra. Also: “There’ll Be No Next Time,” Louis Prima (Featuring Sam Butera)
Ladies, I have been too long gone, some 40 episodes, I think, all of which are built up on my iPod and waiting to be aired out. But I had to comment even before hearing #147 to say how sad I am to hear of Sam Butera’s passing, the news of which you were the first to convey to me. Where have I been, exactly? I never saw Louis on stage, but my wife and I saw Sam and Keely in a small lounge in one of the last original Vegas hotels (long since demolished) around 1995, and it was a real thrill. Keely did the mambo right past my table, and I reached out and kissed her hand!
R.I.P., Sam, indeed. You put on a hell of a show.
And I can’t wait to hear Bet’s take on Grindhouse!
Drag Me to Hell at the drive-in was a ton of fun! We even got national exposure: http://weblogs.variety.com/thompsononhollywood/2009/06/httpsergioleoneifrblogspotcom200906to-drive-in-hell-and-backhtml.html
It’s good to be back, kids! Can’t wait to hear the show!
Dennis
Aww thanks for the shoutouts. ThePete and I are not “perfect” by a long shot, but we’re proud to be the official “Couplebug”
*WHEN* ThePete goes to Japan, we will miss each other but will have Skype, Twitter, Facebook, 12seconds, YouTube, gTalk, AIM, Meebo, etc to keep in touch with each other. I’ll be in NYC scooping the kitty litter and going out to cabaret/theater/cast parties as late as I wanna, and Pete will be in Japan eating Japanese food and learning the language and be surrounded by young Japanese women who are fascinated by bleach-blonde white guys. Wait, maybe I should nab a job at Tokyo Disney or Universal Studios Osaka first…
What I would like to learn:
Guitar
Piano
Sight-Reading (Musically)
Puppet Building
How to go to the gym on a consistent basis.
I would like to learn
1. how to speak in Accents. I can mimic Meryl Streep from A CRY IN THE DARK (“I’d like to know more than anyone else what happened to my baby, my baby daughter.”), but I’m really bad at doing accents.
2. swim without being afraid that a shark will eat me. The opening of JAWS has forever scarred me.
3. to be less judgmental.
4. to be interested when someone is telling me about their day or their illnesses.
5. to play the piano. I so regret not following through.
6. to be less determined to do everything on my own.
7. about the South. Visit historic sites. It’s just hard when you’ve been told since birth that Southerners have no teeth and will kill you.
8. how to talk to cab drivers. I never know what to say.
9. to be less impatient with my family.
10. how to do my own website or blog or just anything web related.
11. Japanese. I know a smattering of words, but I’d really like to listen to Toshiro Mifune without the subtitles in the way.
12. what it feels like for a man to have sex. Are their orgasms the same as women’s? How do they position themselves sexually so it’s comfortable? What is it about bathrooms that men—straight and gay—find so appealing? I don’t get it. Is there a more icky place to have sex?
13. why I married my ex-husband when I knew from the start that I was not a couples person.
14. to watch more Pop Culture Shows. I’ve never seen a full episode of shows by Rachel Maddow, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart. Never saw Seinfeld or Star Trek.
15. how to kidnap and then have my way with Darius Danesh, Brandon Barash, John Abraham, Stephane Rideau, Louis Garrel, Romain Duris, Reynaldo Gianecchini, Daniel Sunjata (who I have hugged and kissed on the cheek), Marco Dapper, and Josh Bernstein. At separate times of course.
16. to apply lip liner without looking in the mirror.
17. to take off my bra a la FLASHDANCE.
18. how to change a tire or change the engine fluid in my car.
19. how to Samba or Mambo.
20. to let things go rather than fixate on them.
21. to stop buying just to be buying things.
21. brevity
Want a taste of Koko Taylor? Search YouTube for “Wang Dang Doodle,” a signature song. A great loss. I’ve had a drink in her club in the South Loop. This weekend is the Chicago Blues Festival, and her absence will undoubtedly be felt.
Bet: Good thoughts all around.
To learn:
When to be patient.
When not to be patient.
Cooking, but I doubt I have the patience for it.
Italian is easier than German. While English has roots in German, they have a lot more tricky grammar rules and Italian is kind of anything goes.
Hee, hee—the programming language Python:
line 10: open DeadParrot
line 20 gosub ComfyChair
line 30 endall salmonmousse
Hey, at least I got a comment in before the deadline…I’m too busy preparing for Nick-the-child-not-the-cancer’s Ethiopia day at daycare. I’m already forgetting to bring food for the picnic.
OK, just a mini shout out requested…had a FUCKED week (celebrated a birthday with my first husband, that was the only shining moment.) Thankfully I was able to listen to you today at work.
As for you Ms. Bet, I’m glad you are feeling better, you sounded great…and I spent last Saturday with Krizzer and Amy and her buddy Micky which was SO MUCH FUN!!
Love you guys…
M
Here’s what I’d like to learn:
1 To ride a motorcycle
2 To make a website (multi page)
3 To use photoshop (I don’t own it..)
4 To bake bread from scratch (with the yeast…I always mess that up)
5 To play the Kazoo
Mr. Middlebrow’s Hucklebug Movie Quotes Quiz – Law & Order Edition
All quotes come from a movie that is set, in significant part, in a courtroom or other legal proceeding, implicates a legal issue, and/or involves a major character who is a lawyer or law student.
1.
Aboard my ship, excellent performance is standard, standard performance is sub-standard, and sub-standard performance is not permitted to exist – that, I warn you.
2.
I don’t really know what the truth is. I don’t suppose anybody will ever really know. Nine of us now seem to feel that the defendant is innocent, but we’re just gambling on probabilities – we may be wrong. We may be trying to let a guilty man go free, I don’t know. Nobody really can. But we have a reasonable doubt, and that’s something that’s very valuable in our system. No jury can declare a man guilty unless it’s SURE. We nine can’t understand how you three are still so sure. Maybe you can tell us.
3.
I have been to their cities and I have seen the altars upon which they sacrifice the futures of their children to the gods of science. And what are their rewards? Confusion and self-destruction. New ways to kill each other in wars. I tell you gentlemen the way of science is the way of darkness.
4.
Listen, no matter what she says to you, don’t answer her back. There’s a Confederate pistol in her lap under her shawl and she’ll kill you quick as look at you. Come on.
5.
Mister Hart, here is a dime. Take it, call your mother, and tell her there is serious doubt about you ever becoming a lawyer.
6.
You’re out of order! You’re out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They’re out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he’d like to do it again! He *told* me so! It’s just a show! It’s a show! It’s “Let’s Make A Deal”! “Let’s Make A Deal”! Hey Frank, you wanna “Make A Deal”? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the shit out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks probation?
7.
Defendant 1: As a matter of interest, how many courts-martial have you done?
Attorney: None.
Defendant 2: None?
Defendant 3: Jesus, they’re playing with a double-headed penny, aren’t they?
Attorney: Would you rather conduct your own defence?
Defendant 2: But you have handled a lot of court cases back home, sir?
Attorney: No. I was a country-town solicitor. I handled land conveyancing and wills.
Defendant 2: Wills. Might come in handy.
8.
(Witness testifying why she kept a copy of the admittance form) After the operation, when that poor girl she went into a coma, Dr. Towler called me in. He told me that he’d had five difficult deliveries in a row and he was tired… and he never looked at the admittance form. And he told me to change the form. He told me to change the ‘1’ to a ‘9’… or else… or else he said, he said he’d fire me. He said I’d never work again. Who were these men? Who were these men? I wanted to be a nurse!
9.
I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
Law and Order Movie Quotes, Part II: The Revenge.
10.
Client: Where were you? I’m just curious.
Defender: I’d tell you, but you wouldn’t understand.
Client: Don’t treat me like a moron. Try me.
Defender: I was trapped near the inner circle of thought.
Client: I don’t understand.
Defender: I told you…
11.
I have two books at my bedside, Lieutenant: the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer, Colonel Nathan R. Jessep, and the Lord our God.
12.
Once again, the communication process broken down. It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process, go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal. Well, I’m not about to revamp the entire judicial process just because you find yourself in the unique position of defending clients who say they didn’t do it.
13.
Now, explain it to me like I’m a four-year-old.
14.
Before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth, Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus, Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.
15.
George Wade: This whole project is worth about 50 million in profits.
Ruth Kelson: No offense, but I think it’s *immoral* for one person to acquire that much wealth. How do you sleep at night?
George Wade: Well, I have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean.
16.
Hmm… Hmm… Yes, your husband did show remarkable foresight in taking those pictures. And, yes, absent a swimming pool, the presence of a pool man would appear to be suspicious. But, Madam, who is the real victim here? Let me suggest to you the following. Your husband, who on a prior occasion had slapped you, beat you.
17.
Charlie: Did I ever tell you my father was a twin?
Pete: Identical?
Charlie: Fraternal. Looked a lot alike, though, him and my uncle. Different temperaments completely. My father, he’s a cop. By-the-book guy. Believed in the law, wanted his only son to be a lawyer. Drank in moderation, didn’t smoke. Kept up his life insurance premiums. Voted in every election, not just for president.
Pete: Lemme guess, uncle didn’t vote?
Charlie: He said he didn’t want to encourage the bastards. In and out of jail from the time he was 16… drunk all the time, fucked everything that walked. Won a fortune playing poker, lost it all the same way. Lost an eye in a fight. My father was 54 when he died of a massive embolism, right here in Wichita. My uncle died the very next day in a car wreck in California. So the point is… it is futile to regret. You do one thing, you do another… I mean, so what? What’s the difference? Same result.
18.
I’m not the guy you kill. I’m the guy you buy! Are you so fucking blind that you don’t even see what I am? I sold out Arthur for 80 grand. I’m your easiest problem and you’re gonna kill me?
Thank you for the birthday wishes! I commented on the someecards on Facebook—thanks for those too!
I am LATE! Sorry, Jay ThePal has me busy these days. Hucklebug listeners can check out Jay’s new domain http://jay.thepal.us for all of his latest goings on or (as many of you already know) Jay can be followed on Twitter, 12seconds.tv, and Facebook. He got invited to the 140 Characters Conference here in NYC this coming week which is why I am late—was all set to listen to you guys Friday morning, but that’s when I found out that he got invited. A lot to prepare for when you’ve got several hundred people to talk to. The good news is there are/is LOTS of good stuff coming up with Jay, so more on that when it happens!
Re: Guns of Navarone, I agree Sten, that movie is really good and it has a classic Peck line “You’re in it now, up to your neck!” And if you read about the history of the film and the events it is based on you know that there were no Americans involved with the original mission (or was it the original book? Can’t recall for sure) so Peck being there at all was odd.
I’ve actually never seen “Castle of Death” 🙁
I have not seen “Icicle Thief” but have been avoiding it based on its similar title to “Bicycle Thief.” But perhaps I should add it to the queue?
Haha, Siskita and I are the perfect couple? I think we’re both good actors! ;P
“Couplebug” that’s adorable, honey.
Japan = dreams for me so they’re worth sacrificing for, in our minds.
OK, I must go shopping for Jay’s new hoodie but will finish listening while I’m out and hopefully comment again, not that it matters since I’m LATE. 🙁
OK, I lied—got swamped with loads of Jay ThePal-related stuff getting readying for the 140 Characters Conference and am just listening to the rest of the Hucklbug now. Will do my best to catch up before Friday night!!
OK:
I did an Amazon search, a few months back and took a screencap of the results so I could blog on them:
http://thepete.com/amazoncom-gives-me-very-inaccurate-search-results
The short of it is, I was researching a new electric razor and ended up getting a gay porn novel called “Razor Burn”. The cover is really worth seeing. Now, imagine a kid searching Amazon, say, for a Father’s Day gift.
I must say that “2001” is not a film anyone should watch on the small screen. I saw it on the small screen a couple times and didn’t get it. Then I saw it on the big screen and it was brilliant. There’s really something to the presentation of that film, I think. Something about the hugeness of it that just gets filtered away on a TV.
I with Bet on the meditation thing. I wanna learn how to NOT think.