Hucklebug, Episode 151: RIP Billy Mays, Gale Storm, Fred Travalena, Karl Malden and Mollie Sugden, shout-outs, movies (Stennie: North by Northest, Bet: noe), lowlights & highlights, fuck-offs & you-rules, biggest celebrity body parts.
Music: “The Hucklebuck,” performed by (respectively): Volksdans, King Curtis, Coast to Coast, Frank Sinatra.
I’ll be preparing a Movie Mashups quiz for the Podcastathon. Don’t know if I’ll be able to join you live, but we shall see.
Re: Body parts. These are some I thought of while listening. Your results may vary.
(BTW, This list should be named the Uncle Milty Memorial List of body parts for obvious reasons.)
Brows – YES: Bill Berry. Also, Groucho. I mean, it’s an integral part of his caricature.
Mouth – Steven Tyler, Julia Roberts, the aforementioned Uncle Milty.
Eyes – Siouxsie Sioux, Clara Bow, Marty Feldman.
Beard – Comedian Zach Galifianakis. (copy and google)
Mustache – Wilford Brimley, Sam Elliott. Also, the truly Rollie Fingers-esque ‘stache of Former Husker Du Bassist/Current restauranteur Greg Norton (http://bit.ly/3LPxn)
Hands/Feet – Bob Lanier. Dude had size 22 shoes, largest in the NBA. Also, my dad played golf with him at a charity event. Apparently, the circumference of his golf grip is equivalent to the average human wrist.
Nose – Eli Wallach. Which is why I always had a hard time believing him in his ethnic roles like Magnificent Seven or The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.
Head – Anthony Quinn, Fred Gwynne (even without the Herman Munster makeup)
Butt – Bet, I think you mean Serena Williams, not Venus. And seriously, no J-Lo? What’s that joke… if someone told her to haul ass, she’d have to take two trips?
Boobs – Another Fellini heroine, Claudia Cardinale. Anna Nicole Smith. Salma Hayek.
Hair – Robert Smith of the Cure. Sly Stone.
Ears – Prince Charles (a caricature staple), Ben Stiller, MLB’s Austin Kearns (http://bit.ly/XqreY)
Stewart and Colbert may be on vacation this week, but returning tonight is……David Letterman. His writers must have been dying to get back to work after Friday. “Hi, I’m David Letterman, the one from the scuffle a few weeks ago who still has a job.”
Brows: Tom Snyder, Eugene Levy, Martin Scorsese
Mouth: Jon “Bowzer” Bauman
Eyes: Celia Johnson, Shelley Duvall, from the early to mid 70s
Beard: Joaquin Phoenix
Moustache: the greatest facial hair in the history of mankind, Frank Zappa
Hands/Feet: former Cowboys QB Troy Aikman’s hands wrap around his microphone about 3 times
Nose: Pete Townshend has a honker. And the Elv has gone on about the size of his nose in the past.
Head: John Goodman
Butt: Yeah, the Kardashians.
Breasts: Scarlet Johansson, Sophia Loren and other wonderful Italian beauties.
Hair: I always equated Lyle’s hair with Eraserhead. And Don King’s hair with a troll doll.
Ears: I remember reading that someone described Gable’s ears as a taxicab with the doors open. Will Smith has the big ears as well, I believe.
Eyes:
Anne Hathaway (“The Devil Wears Prada”) Big lips, too. Striking and pretty, but in general her features are a half-size too big for her face. She’s like a living caricature.
Nose:
Rupert Everett’s may not be the biggest, but it’s arguably one of the most sublimely beaky.
Brow:
Floyd, from the Muppets, though I suppose puppets are DQ’d, on account of being entirely “augmented.”
Hands:
Bill Clinton. Supposedly one of the things that attracted Hillary to him. At least until he started groping every living thing that moved.
Head:
Whoever played William MacKenzie in “So I Married an Axe Murderer.” “It’s like an orange on a toothpick. It’s a virtual planetoid. Got its own weather system. It’s like Sputnik: spherical, but quite pointy in parts. Move your ass and get the paper if you can, haulin’ that gargantuan cranium about! He’ll be cryin’ himself to sleep on his great big pillow.”
Ass:
William Powell, Tom Hanks (though neither is really in Dan Akroyd’s league).
Jennifer Lopez’s buttocks are sublime.
Hair:
Remember Bernie from “Room 222”?
Mouth/Lips:
Carly Simon
And I know we weren’t going there, but we must give The Creature his due:
“He vood haf an enormous schwanz-stücker!”
Yes, even I have seen North by Northwest. I may even own it, but I think it was given to me as a gift. And I really can’t think of anything that places “Jimmy Stewart” and “sexy” in the same sentence. Unless it’s a Hucklebug comment.
It’s kind of bumming me out, but I can’t find a good photo of the guy I think of when I hear “eyebrows”. The actor is Jeff Corey, but when he plays old dudes. He must be vain enough that I can’t find any photos of him with they eyebrows—kind of Albert Einstein-y.
Too many celebrities have these huge-ass over-capped, over-whitened teeth that you just stare at the teeth. The recently departed Farrah Fawcett had those teeth.
Head: I’ve seen him in person, so I can personally vouch that Bill Mahr has a huge head compared to his body, & wears shoulder pads to even it all out on camera.
Mouth: Brian Blessed…could take in a fire extinguisher if he wanted to
Biggest nose: Comedian Demetri Martin.
Biggest hands: Vanessa Redgrave
Biggest Ego with no talent to back it up: Michael Bay
So now they are asking Los Angeles residents to give “donations” to pay for Jackson’s memorial. What cheek! People ought to send out I.O.U.‘s in response. I like Antonio Villaraigosa (whose quite sexy and smells good), but this proposal reeks.
BRIEF ENCOUNTER: Someone once told me that as you grow older, you start to identify with different characters. I do wonder what is happening with Laura’s husband, but Celia Johnson is so amazing in the role that I can’t forget her sadness. The movie works so well because the husband isn’t a bad guy. It would have been easier to make him the villain, but it’s more realistic that he’s just a normal man.
Linda Stasi’s controversial (not to me) take on Michael Jackson with the headline, “SHED NO TEARS FOR THIS TWISTED SICKO:”
http://tinyurl.com/kmjndd
And as for Bette Davis, for many years she was a real beauty. From her early days:
http://celeberrimous.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/ruth-elizabeth-davis-april-5-1908-october-6-1989/
You should give rum another chance! Delicious rum drinks include: mai-tais, daquiris, pina coladas (do you like them?), and mojitos!
I’m a bit behind again! We posted our Jay ThePal documentary thingy last week and I’m still catching up on everything.
No way could I live tweet the entire podcastathon. That would be a LOT of tweeting—even for me. Will retweet anything I see you tweet about the podcastathon, though—that’s why I didn’t RT it before—I follow too many folks so I missed it entirely. 🙁
I haven’t listened to ep 152, so I don’t know if you know this yet, but I’ve heard something about Palin starting her own political party. >_<
I’m with Siskita on her big head nominee—we saw Bill Mahr at the movies once years ago and the dude looked like a bobblehead doll.
I have a nominee for biggest undeserved ego in Hollywood, but he’s someone I used to hang out with and don’t wanna talk shit about him online. However you may be able to guess who he is since I have so few (ex)friends who are famous.
That’s it from me! I’ll definitely listen to 152 before Friday—gotta get my shoutout, man!!