Episode 216: On the timer, shout-outs, movies (Bet: Social Network, I’m Still Here, Stennie: Das Boot), Pet Stories, What’s Up With That? (stennieville.com suspended, Survivor villains) Keith Olbermann’s out of work, Fuck Offs and You Rules, Actors Who Should Never Make Another Movie.
Music: “The Hucklebuck,” performed by Sierra Rein, Lee Rocker, and Frank Sinatra.
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Actors you wish would go away? I agree 100% with your lists. I also have a few personal favorites:
Natalie Portman – She’s in every freakin’ movie made. I think she has 4 coming out this year and is fast becoming the female Morgan Freeman.
Miley Cyrus – No talent media hog. I’m taking bets on when the Miley Cyrus sex tapes will hit. You know they’re coming.
Jack Black – You’ve worn out your welcome, Jack. Quit before you become Robin Williams.
Will Smith – You aren’t 18 anymore. Stop with the smartass. It ceased being cute after Prince of Bel Air (if it ever was).
Leonardo DiCaprio – No one cares that you made Titanic. Just go away.
Tom Cruise – Wipe that idiotic smirk off your face. You’re crazy as a loon. Get some good meds and stay away from me.
Sigourney Weaver – Siggy, is Avatar the best you can do? You’ve had a good run, go home before you ruin it all.
Seth Rogen – You really get on my nerves. Green hornet? You gotta be kidding.
Hey – I’m an “M” listener, and I’m not in Washington.
I see that Stennieville is back. Highlight!
The topic of the week sort of makes me sorry that I missed chat! I have a few to add:
Angelina Jolie – enough of the big-lipped woman kicking ass. Been there, done that.
Vince Vaughn – enough of the bromances already! He’s an unattractive oaf who can’t act. Go away.
Steve Correll – he’s becoming Jerry Lewis. Maybe he doesn’t need to go away forever, but he definitely needs to take a break from movies.
Eddie Murphy – jumped the shark when he started doing children’s movies.
Mike Meyers – we’ve got it: you can do an English and a Scottish accent!
Everyone mentioned by Duke. Snap, snap, snap, SNAP!
Thank you for including Ben Stiller. I have never understood why anyone would find him finny or interesting. He has the appeal of frozen vomit on a hot day.
I can name a Drew Barrymore movie since ET that is worth seeing: Boys on the Side.
Andie MacDowell and Keanu Reeves. Neither of them should ever make a movie again.
Keanu Reeves – really? Come on now. He’s not THAT attractive. In the early 90s, he was in Much Ado About Nothing as Don Jon and his first line goes something like, “I’m not a man of many words.” THANK GOD! Just shut up and look pretty (again – he’s not pretty enough to make it worth the pain).
Andie MacDowell – yes, I realize it’s an old reference. However, she can’t act. She could never act. And please don’t let her try ever again. She almost ruined a great movie – Four Weddings and a Funeral (although Hugh Grant is not my favorite either). I about vomitted in my mouth during the last scene where she shows up on his doorstep soaking wet. “Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed.” ARGH! Go watch that one part. It’s seriously painful. Another movie that would have been good if it weren’t for Andie MacDowell – Green Card. Painful….
Two others: Jack Nichloson & Diane Keaton – it’s just time to stop, please.
Michelle – Ditto to Boys on the Side. Great movie.
Uh oh….Now you’ve got me commenting, I may not stop.
Lyndie! Thanks for mentioning Hugh Grant. How could I leave him off my list? That shuffling bastard plays the same neanderthal in every movie. He’s all “duh, could one of you smart women show me how to tie a shoe?”. There’s no excuse for Hugh Grant and his fumble-finger manchild character. He’s a disgrace.
Have never watched Survivor, but as you know, Boston Rob infiltrated the Amazing Race twice, and therefore must be put down for good. Really, for his own good.
I agree that S***h P***n should know be known as She Who Must Not Be Named. She’s like Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice, only getting power when you talk about her.
Actors:
I’m not sure if you owe it to yourselves to watch Nicolas Cage in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans if only to see what a crazy performance Werner Herzog pulls out of him. It’s surreal — not quite funny, but full of strange humor, like a arthouse take on a trashy late-night flick you used to catch on pay cable. Definitely unforgettable.
I can also name a good Drew Barrymore movie, the one she directed: Whip It. Watch it and see. It also exonerates Ellen Page.
That said:
Christina Ricci = Wooden and now, scary-looking.
Gerard Butler = Either beefy action hero or awkward romantic lead. Not really a good actor at all.
Liam Neeson = Bad choices of late make him look like a hack.
Dustin Hoffman = Falling into the caricature-of-himself category
Kate Hudson = Almost Famous — an anomaly?
Keira Knightley = Skinny and pretty, yes. NOT a good actress.
Gwyneth Paltrow = See above.
Shia LaBeouf = Nuf said.
Take a break, Jonah Hill. You too, Zach Galifianakis.
And last but not least, somebody needs to reign in Johnny Depp. What the f*ck happened, man?
As for the “Oh Donna” song………….I do get it sung to me but I swear I don’t know the song. You two are the perfect shared brain to rescue me from my ignorance. The only part ever sung is the “oh Donna” part so maybe I would recognize the song if I ever heard more of it. There’s one woman at work who does it all the time and it gets on my nerves because she basically doesn’t say anything else to me but that.
And just to put me further out on my own little island, we still watch Survivor and have watched every season. I absolutely hated Russell the first season he played — he is far and above the most sexist player ever and had some terrible quotes (the producers surely get giddy when he’s in front of the confessional-type camera knowing he’ll be spewing out some real zingers) about women and our brains. However, he was amazing to watch — he found hidden immunity idols with no clues and he manipulated the heck out of, who else, a bunch of women, which only reinforces his theory about us. He lies to every one and every one falls for his lies and his promises so he’s able to progress in the game. So yes, they would be smart to vote him off the first night but they won’t have a chance. He’ll already have people convinced that they need to do what he tells them to do and they will do it! As for Boston Rob, please, not again!
UGH! Yes! Hugh Grant and Keanu. I can’t believe I forgot about those two. No Talent.
The worst part of this Facebook profile change is that it didn’t seem that bad at first, until you actually tried to find stuff. They tend to be violating the principle of ‘make it simple and intuitive to use”. But it’s also showing the age of the people running the thing — they just don’t get that not everyone wants to be as wired in and plugged in and graphically oriented as they are. I got a survey from AT&T about my cell phone habits. The way the questions were structured, it was as if they couldn’t fathom that a) I didn’t have a smart phone, b) I didn’t feel a burning need to have a smart phone (and in particular a data and text plan) and c) I wasn’t sitting up nights worried that I didn’t have a smart phone. I kept selecting the “you charge too much” option from their lists as to why I didn’t, because they just didn’t seem to have the option of “well, it doesn’t really matter to me”.
See, it’s not that Keanu and Andie MacDowell shouldn’t make any MORE movies, it’s that they shouldn’t have EVER made any movies. She never made a good one, and the ones that he was marginal in would have been much better with someone else.
I’m still worried about John Cusack and Kevin Spacey. They both used to be movie savers for me, and lately they’re starting to stand out as “oh dear, no”. Who knew that Joan Cusack would be the one to stay at “awesome” for the long run.
I may not get through the whole list before I have to go today, but I’m assuming Mel Gibson is on it. I saw the promo for his upcoming movie with the puppet, and said “what are they thinking?”. Also, no to Jim Carrey, Steve Correll (go away please, you are not now and never have been funny), Sean Penn, Will Ferrell, and Tom Cruise . Wordy McWord on Renee Zellweger, Kevin Costner. While I don’t hate Cameron Diaz profoundly, I’m with Bet on Being John Malkovich — Cameron’s nod to acting in that movie was the stringy hair (as was John Cusack’s). I couldn’t see anything other than the hair.
SNL has a few exemptions (from the early days — Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd, although they have to watch their choices), but yes, don’t let them make movies. If Molly Shannon was still allowed to make movies, I’d include her on the “really, no” list.