Hucklebug Episode 199: Shout-outs, Movies (Bet: You, The Living; Stennie: The Men Who Stare at Goats), What’s Up With That – Lou Gehrig’s Disease, Fuck offs & You Rules, the triumphant return of Would You Rather?
Music: “The Hucklebuck,” performed by Sierra Rein, Lee Rocker, and Frank Sinatra.
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Now THERE’S a musical opening. LOVE IT!
Making fruit fit in unintended places….Th BEST topic EVER!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Thanks for the heavy chuckle. It just about made my cheeseburger “fit” through my nasal cavity…….
Musical flatulations??? Ladies, this has been the best show ever!!! And Bet’s laugh is the best addiction I could ever wish for.
A dust buster ass would be the greatest superpower ever. It might be hard to watch TV unless it had an OFF switch though. The noise would be distracting.
Another fruit-up-the-ass question might be if they asked how much you’d pay to shove it up Glen Beck’s.
Oh, I want to be in that number….
I was really hoping for a closing theme of “When the Saints Go Marching In.”
PLEASE, someone actually produce the Relationship Red Card, and then Eternal-Sunshine-of-the-Spotless-Mind my brain of all memories of some people.
Please don’t completely do away with movies, especially when there are hidden gems like YOU, THE LIVING to be disclosed. Bet/Mr. M: In the end-of-year movie awards I participate in, I voted for Anna marrying Micke of The Black Devils as one of the scenes of the year, and I wasn’t the only one. The whole film is totally absurd, and oddly beautiful throughout.
You can’t prove I have a secret sock-monkey lair. Not even a little one in the corner of my crawlspace with Christmas lights and the coolest, converted Barbie Dream House ever. Because I don’t.
Men Who Stare at Goats left me rather cold. I doubt it ever knew where it was going but I’m pretty sure it didn’t get there. Seeing The Dude again was nice though. If you’re going to steal a character from another movie he’s a good one.
Oops. Site didn’t remember my info.
I forgot to mention the most important thing of the first “Would You Rathers.” I’m on a flight! I don’t fly! What the hell do I care what’s up my ass, I’m freaking out over being on a plane!
Take it from me: It’s even better to have a wonky eye.
Oh boy this is gonna be a long one…I have WEEKS of comments to make. I have no expectation that you will read all of this in your shout-outs, but I was afraid that my gems of comments would be missed if I posted on the week they were attached to.
Yes, I know I ended that sentence badly. Bite me.
See what happens after three days in New York?
So I must start off congratulating Pete and Siskita (again) and Jay and Kay for their ability to fill two hours left vacant by Bet and Stennie. They were big shoes to fill and they did a great job. I will say that if tapped I would serve to sub in someday IN THE FUTURE and it would be a kick to meet Michelle on line..or Mish, I’ll take what I can get… 😉
OK…so I made myself a whole buneh of cryptic notes which I will list here….mostly because I can’t remember what the hell I wanted to say about any of them (or most of them)
Bay area trip Can’t Remember
New York trip Can’t Remember
Incredibles. Halloween I always wanted to have elastic arms like the mom…but then I realized it was mostly to make doing housework easier. Fuck that.
Kid babysitting/animal love Milo, scout, buster Can’t Remember
Kid sign language Can’t Remember exactly but they can learn to sign “milk” by 9 months. If it would stop one kid from crying 4 hours straight on an airplane, I say we make it mandatory to teach all babies.
Best birth control ever I think this was about hanging around with kids (of any age) in general.
Unemployment I think one of you might have been bitching about people on unemployment. Ahem.
Who is talking too much? Stennie, I think you think you talk too much. From this side, it really feels even. You two are well balanced….I’ll leave it at that.
Movies if the month/dead in 30 days Highlights-lowlights/fo-yr.
Grab bag Month with 5 weeks These were my suggestions for dumping the old categories in lieu of the new. If you choose to scrap the movies of the week, I think you should at least have a Movies of the Month week. and “who died in 30 days” for important RIPs. I am enjoying the new categories. Very much.
Cash card/credit card not working. Not enough cash. Check!! ok…I got an issue with this one. Not every place takes credit cards, debit cards don’t always work north of the border, and while we were in NY, a credit card machine broke and we didn’t have enough cash. Luckily we had our check book. And the English Horn Ken bought was on consignment, so they would only take a check. Yeah, I know, you are in a rush at the grocery store, but old people are gonna die soon. Writing a check may be the only joy they have in life. You want to take that away from them?
Baby blues. Sunday For Better or for worse ? Isn’t Cathy married ? Doonsbury Oh yeah, I used to read the comics every day. We don’t get the M-F paper anymore. Now I rarely read them even on Sunday. Rememember For Better or Worse when the little sister was really sick? That was a tear jerker. they did one panel where they referenced a Barenaked Ladies song. I brought the panel to a BNL concert (yeah, I’m a dork) and met the band…..And BTW that comic is done. They are re-running from the beginning now. I can’t remember what the writer is doing.
Giving birth is like Shitting a watermelon What would you stick up your ass? Yeah, I hope you know I didn’t think I had a choice.
Penguins Stennie…did you get the package I mailed you? If not, I’ll explain the reference…
The last time I listened with a document open and typed as I went along. That was my last novella comment..
Happy 200. I can honestly say I have listened to all of the last 100 and look forward to the next.
Love
MarlaMarlaMarla
Would you rather…
a) Well, there are those little Italian plums. So a prune and an Italian plum. I think anything bigger would just drive me nuts when trying to sit. I’m not greedy — I’ll stop at half a million. I will tell you this. Having gone for a swim in the Dead Sea — NO WAY. Going in the water there, ANY opening on your body was painful and tingly, and not in a good way. I don’t care if the salt was in a bag.
b) Now that I have kids, I might just. Those people who snatch kids, abuse them, and then kill them and bury the bodies? Yup. No problem with that at all. You just put your kid’s face on the victim’s face.
c, d) No robbing banks, no stealing
e) Richard Simmons — he’d be a hoot at the kiddie party. I’m just not that familiar with too many of the other either/ors
f) Simulate the hair. Can have good hair days
g) umm, I’d rather take care of myself before someone else on that issue.
h) Fatty foods. Condoms just aren’t that hard.
i) Manson’s eyes are psycho. Have to go with Bette. But I really want Liz Taylor eyes.
j) I don’t even get the one about the animals vs. aluminum siding.
k) I guess a stress ball head. I wouldn’t want to taste my own sweat and the inside of my shoes.
l) Light dimmer t*ts. I had enough stuff up my butt in the first question.
m) Tape measure tongue. Could be useful. Don’t have a GPS now, don’t really see the need.
n) Internet browser history. No tattoos.
0) Precision on the cheek kiss, although I’m not a fan of it. Who cares about the remote, especially as that’s pretty doable now.
p) Red card. I can talk to the animals now about dumb stuff.
q) If it’s a specific throbbing object, I’ll go with that.
So, there’s singing next week? You promised.
Once I heard the phrase “body cavity” I thought the question was going to be one of receiving a search vs. administering a search. Then it got weird from there.
So, would you rather receive or give on that topic?
I have a few fuck-offs:
*to the dipshits who submit bad CD info to sites like gracenote and freedb. For those of us trying to maintain a decently organized iTunes library, your carelessness makes us re-think our position on the death penalty.
*to the idiots who walk through parking lots as though there isn’t a chance in hell a car is going to drive by. Cars are bigger than you, folks. Grow some brains and get out of the damn way.
*somewhat related to the check writing topic, people who stand right behind you while you’re paying at places like Borders and B&N need to back off and give me my space. The line starts at the edge of the counter, folks. Have some class for once in your lives.
*people who don’t realize what the speed limit is on main roads. It’s 35, not 30, so get out of my lane, asshole.
So is the singing episode going to be like Umbrellas of Cherbourg?
And regarding Stennie’s problem with Men Who Stare…, it honestly didn’t bother me because the prior movie sucked ass and I basically don’t acknowledge its existence. It helps.
I’m so awed that I’m on the bill with Lee Rocker and Frank Sinatra! Neat!
I agree with Mike on Men Who Stare at Goats.
Ummm…what about ThePete’s Ballpoint Adventures?!?!? 🙂
My would you Rather answers:
1) Anything bigger than a kiwi is not going up my butt. Ain’t worth it in the long, healthy haul.
2) If I knew someone was *going* to attack a child again, I might do the dirty deed. But I don’t do innocent killing.
3) Mimes are creepy, but they’re fellow artists!
4) I don’t like stealing…but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe from a wall street billionaire who would snort the amount I would steal up his nose in an afternoon…sure…
5) Richard Simmons — he’s the type of person that my kid would hang out with backstage, so it’d be good training. Did I ever tell you I *AUDITIONED* for a Richard Simmons workout video, with him basically teaching an hour long class? He’s as spritely as you would imagine him, good energy. Tony scares me, those big teeth.
6) Bukowski definitely – great sense of humor, and would train the kid for living with me. 50c, I guess…?
7) Definitely the hair – I could play anyone from any era, without fucking curling irons or hair spray. I can mimic lots of things vocally anyway 😉
8) Well, I already have ThePete, so I’d rather give the pleasure…I’d be the belle of the balls!
9) I’m with fatty foods – I already know my guy won’t give me any thing unhealthy…:D
10) Bette had such expressive eyes that read on screen, in photos, and on stage – as an actress, I’d want ’em!
11) I’d talk to the nerd animals – they might hold the answer to destroying Nick!
12) I touch the subway, other stinky people, etc every day – no way would I want taste buds all over my skin!!! I’d rather have a malleable head.
13) Light dimmer – I could raise the light on me and give myself my own theatrical spotlight wherever I was, dim the lights in any restaurant to make it romantic, raise the lamps in dark places that I don’t feel safe in. Oh if I had a sound dimmer I’d lower the noisy music coming from my neighbor’s cars/headphones/voices, and raise my mic if I can’t hear myself. Also, one question on the anus vacuum: can it have an attachment? I wouldn’t want to have to scoot across the floor to get the dust bunnies….
14) I use my tongue for singing and other activities. GPS in my crotch would help me on travel, on auditions, finding things…
15) OMG TATOOO! I could reduce it to a tiny dot for auditions, but then expand them all over my body in whatever colors and designs to go out to scifi conventions as an alien! Or just punk out for an evening!!! Or freak my friends out, writing things on my face or neck in front of their eyes…ohhhhhh I wannaaa!
16) Ask ThePete, I already have the reflexes of a Puma on the remote. Precision on the cheek would be handy with kissing theater-artistic people.
17) I have Ecks and Zaphod already to talk to – Zaphod in particular is wonderfully empathetic. And the Red Card would come in handy with “conversations” at work, in rehearsals, with difficult artistic people…and believe me, I’ve tried to use the Red Card on some “conversations” with ThePete, and it failed.
18) I’d have to do the throbbing objects, especially if I go on tour 😉
I want to hear Bet do a duet of “When the Saints Come Marching In” on Clarinet and Ass…will that be in the 200th MUSICAL EPISODE NEXT WEEK!?!??!??!??!!?!?!?!??!
The singer in the theme song is really good!!
Just sayin’…
Oh and Bet, I’ll Paypal you just as soon as you put my can of puke in the mail.
Wait! Google owns YouTube? I thought Mike TheBlogless owned YouTube.:( I bet you’re going to tell me Mike doesn’t own my butt, either!
Regarding “Men Who Stare at Goats,” Sten, I felt that it was something that was meant to knock us out of the movie, to remind us that this movie is not real life, despite it’s real settings and vaguely factual basis. So, it worked really well for me in that sense. Plus I think the author of the book the movie was based on was a guest (via satellite) on Colbert. The funny thing is, I’ve seen video of Ewan as Obi-Wan “using the Force” to knock over goats on YouTube. I wonder if that’s why he was cast.
Oh wait, I think it wasn’t YouTube–here’s an animated gif: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090128132825/uncyclopedia/images/b/b0/Obi-wan_force_moves_goats.gif (I think I’ve seen a better one that that, though)
Regarding all the “Would You Rather” stuff, the only comment I have is that my crotch already tells me where to go.
I like Marla’s idea of having a sort of “End of the Month” episode where for the last HB for the month you do movies, highlights/lowlights and whatever else you’d normally do but are thinking about sacrificing. Just a suggestion–I like the fast and loose direction you’re kind of already going in.
I do think Marla should watch the salty language–the M-F paper?
Oh yeah, and Stennie, I believe the concept behind naming diseases is that you get it named after you when it’s discovered, not if or when you die of it. So Lou Gehrig’s Disease is still it, even if he didn’t die of exactly that. He was diagnosed with it, that’s all the matters. Plus, imagine how confusing it would be if they switched everything around. Doctors don’t need any distractions while they’re operating on me.
Am I comment number 15?
BEWARE THE IDES OF PETE!
It’s episode 200 and I’m CAUGHT UP! Just under the wire! Congratulations, ladies. I truly love what you do and hope you never quit.
Cartoon: a single panel that I always loved – Herman.
Checks in the check out line. I’m with Stennie. Down with checks! And get your shit ready to go BEFORE
Crap, hit send in the middle of commenting.
Anyway, if you have your money or whatever ready to go when you get up there, then people can wait a cotton-picking minute for you to put your cash back in your wallet before they hustle you out the door.
Men Who Stare at Goats. I LOVED IT. So there.
Ok, but the main thing I wanted to say: What does everyone think about “Huckle-Con, 2012?” I think it’s high time we all got together and met up. I’m jealous that Marla got to meet Pete and Siskita in New York. I want to meet Mike the Blogless, I want to meet Mr. Middlebrow, I want to meet Bet! I say we need to meet up, maybe in Vegas? I was thinking 2012 to give us all PLENTY of time to save up and plan.
So that’s my idea. What say?
What salty language? You talking about the bags that go up your butt? I agree, that would be deadly.
Happy 200th episode! I’m so looking forward to all the singing!
Siiiiiiiing, sing a soooooonnnng, let the woooorrrllld sing a loooooooong! Siiiing of good things, not bad… sing of happy, not sad….